Care for Elderly Parents in London
If your mum or dad is finding it harder to manage at home, a carer for your elderly parent can help with washing, meals, medication and company while they stay in their own home. We arrange care for elderly parents across London, from visiting care to live-in care and respite, and it starts with a free home assessment with Jackie, who runs the service.
How do you know when an elderly parent needs help?
It is usually a run of small things you notice on a visit, and parents are often good at hiding them. Signs worth taking seriously:
- Post piling up unopened, or bills and reminders going unpaid
- Out-of-date food in the fridge, weight loss, or meals that are always toast
- The same clothes several days running, or a bath that has clearly not been used
- Tablets left in the blister pack, or doubled up because they forgot they had taken them
- Bruises they cannot explain, a fall they mention in passing, or a new reluctance to use the stairs
- Missed appointments, repeated questions, or getting lost somewhere familiar
Memory changes that persist or get worse should go to the GP first, because some causes are treatable. If dementia is part of the picture, our dementia care page explains how we work with it.
How to talk to your parent about care
It goes better when it is about what they want to keep doing, not what they can no longer do.
- Pick a quiet moment. Not at a family gathering, and not straight after a fall when everyone is frightened.
- Start with their goals. "You want to stay in this house. What would make that easier?" lands better than "You can't cope."
- Offer small steps. Help with shopping and cleaning, or someone to call in for an hour, is a smaller ask than full care.
- Give them the say. Unless they lack the mental capacity to decide, it is their choice. Your job is to make the options clear.
When we come out for the assessment, we talk to your parent directly, not only to you about them.
You can start small. Care can begin with a couple of visits a week for home help or companionship, and builds from there as needs change. The care plan is reviewed and adjusted, so agreeing to some help now does not commit anyone to more.
Get a council needs assessment and a carer's assessment
Two free assessments are worth asking for, even if your parent expects to pay for their own care.
The needs assessment (for your parent)
Anyone can ask their council's adult social care team for a needs assessment, and it is free. Someone from the council, often a social worker or occupational therapist, looks at how your parent manages everyday tasks such as washing, dressing and cooking, and decides what support they are eligible for. You can find your parent's council through GOV.UK. A separate financial assessment then decides how much the council pays towards any care. Our guides to the care needs assessment and the financial assessment go through both.
The carer's assessment (for you)
If you look after your parent, you can ask for a carer's assessment of your own. It is free and looks at how caring affects your health, work, free time and relationships. You do not need to live with your parent: the Care Act 2014 places the duty to meet a carer's eligible needs on the council where the person being cared for lives. So if you live in Kent and your mum lives in Lewisham, contact Lewisham, and ask for both assessments to be done together if that suits.
What are the options for caring for an elderly parent at home?
Visiting care
A carer comes at set times to help with getting up, personal care, meals, medication and getting ready for bed. It suits a parent who is safe on their own between visits. How quickly we can staff visits depends on carer availability in your parent's area, so ask us and we will tell you straight.
Live-in care
A carer moves into the spare room and is there through the day. This is the usual alternative to a care home, and it works for couples too. The carer needs their own bedroom, a proper daily break and an unbroken night's sleep. See live-in care in London, or 24-hour care at home if your parent needs support through the night as well.
Respite
If you or another relative already provide most of the care, respite care gives you a break, whether that is a regular afternoon, a holiday or time to recover from an operation of your own. Our sit-in service covers shorter gaps. The council can fund respite where it has assessed the need, which is one more reason to ask for both assessments.
After a hospital stay
Our hospital discharge care helps your parent settle back in, and emergency home care explains what we can arrange at short notice. There is also complex care and, for the end of life, palliative care.
We also run supported living homes in Whitton, Kingston upon Thames and Uxbridge, which are a separate service from care in your parent's own home.
Caring for a parent from a distance
A few practical steps make it easier to manage care when you cannot pop round:
- Agree who does what. One person as the main contact for the agency and the GP saves mixed messages.
- Ask your parent to tell the GP practice that they are happy for the practice to speak to you.
- Fit a key safe so carers, paramedics and neighbours can get in without someone driving across town with a key.
- Know your rights at work. Employees can take up to one week of unpaid carer's leave a year from their first day in a job, to give or arrange care.
With us, you have one number to ring and Jackie to speak to, and we agree with you and your parent who we update and how.
Lasting power of attorney: sort it out early
A lasting power of attorney (LPA) lets your parent choose someone to make decisions for them. There are two types:
- Property and financial affairs, which can be used as soon as it is registered, with your parent's permission.
- Health and welfare, which can only be used once your parent can no longer make their own decisions.
Your parent must have mental capacity when they make it, and it must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian before anyone can use it. GOV.UK currently gives the registration fee as £92 (reductions and exemptions exist) and says registration takes 8 to 10 weeks if there are no mistakes. It can be made online or on paper forms. If someone loses capacity without one, the family may need to apply to the Court of Protection to become a deputy, which is slower and costs more, so it pays to raise the subject while your parent is well.
How much does care for an elderly parent cost, and who pays?
We give you a written figure after the home assessment, not before, because the cost depends on what your parent needs: how many visits and how long, whether care is needed at weekends or overnight, and whether live-in care is the better fit. Our guides to home care costs in London and live-in care costs explain what drives the price.
The main ways care gets paid for:
- Council funding and direct payments, after the needs and financial assessments. Direct payments let your parent use their council money to choose their own provider.
- NHS continuing healthcare, which pays in full where someone's needs are mainly health needs.
- Attendance Allowance, for people who have reached State Pension age and have needed help for at least 6 months because of a disability or health condition. GOV.UK lists the weekly rates as £76.70 or £114.60. See how to apply and the current rates.
- Carer's Allowance, for you, if you care for your parent for 35 hours or more a week and they get a qualifying benefit such as Attendance Allowance. You do not have to live with them. There is an earnings limit, so check GOV.UK.
Our page on paying for care in London covers each route in more detail.
How to arrange a carer for your elderly parent with us
- Call or message us. Ring 0203 375 4047, or 07446 010486 on the phone or WhatsApp, and tell us what is happening. You can call on your parent's behalf.
- Free home assessment. Jackie visits your parent at home, ideally with you there in person or on the phone, and talks to them about their routine and what they want help with.
- Written care plan and quote. You get a plan that says who comes, when and what they do, and a written figure.
- Care starts and is reviewed. The plan changes as your parent's needs change, and if a carer is not the right fit, we change the carer.
JNP Sidona Support Services is registered with the CQC for personal care. We are a small, owner-managed agency based in Lewisham. We cover the whole of London: live-in carers move in, so distance is no barrier, while visiting care depends on carer availability near your parent. See areas we serve, or local pages such as home care in Lewisham, Greenwich, Bromley, Croydon, live-in care in Barnet and Kensington and Chelsea.
Questions about care for elderly parents
My dad refuses help. What can I do?
If he has the mental capacity to decide, the choice is his, and pushing tends to harden a refusal. Try starting with one practical task he finds a chore, such as cleaning or shopping, and present it as help for the family as well as for him. If you are worried he cannot understand the risks, speak to his GP or ask the council for a needs assessment.
Can I get a carer's assessment if I don't live with my mum?
Yes. The Care Act 2014 defines a carer as an adult who provides or intends to provide care for another adult, with no requirement to live together. Contact the adult social care team at the council where your mum lives.
Can I be paid to care for my elderly parent?
You may be able to claim Carer's Allowance if you provide 35 hours or more of care a week and your parent gets a qualifying benefit. Councils can also allow direct payments to pay a family member in some circumstances, but that is the council's decision, so ask during the assessment.
Do we need a lasting power of attorney before care starts?
No. Care can start without one, and your parent can agree to care themselves while they have capacity. An LPA matters for the future, when decisions about money or health may need to be made for them, so it is worth arranging early.
How do I choose a carer for my elderly mother or father?
Check the agency is registered with the CQC for personal care, and read its inspection report if it has had one. Ours is registered and, as a newer service, has not yet been inspected. Then ask who manages the care, how carers are introduced to your parent, what happens if a carer is ill, and how the care plan is reviewed.
Can you look after both of my parents?
Yes. Visiting carers can support both parents at the same visit, and one live-in carer can support a couple. We work out the right arrangement at the home assessment.
Related care in London
Talk it through with Jackie
No call centre and no obligation. Tell us what you are dealing with and we will tell you honestly whether we can help.